My HELLP Syndrome Story – Part II: My Second Pregnancy
After having my son, my husband and I were adamant that we were not having another baby. The experience was just too terrifying. My husband, in particular, was deeply shaken—more than I even realized at the time. For him, watching me almost die and not knowing if he’d lose both me and our son was something that left him scarred in ways I couldn’t fully understand.
It wasn’t until I was in recovery that a doctor casually mentioned that I was "close to my liver rupturing." Excuse me, what?!
I later learned that HELLP syndrome can cause small blood clots in the liver, leading to a dangerous buildup of blood under the liver capsule. If left untreated, the liver can rupture, leading to massive internal bleeding—and yes, potentially death. The thought of how close I was to that happening? Absolutely horrifying.
So yeah, I completely understood why my husband was so against trying for another baby. The risk was too great. And honestly? His fear was heartbreakingly sweet because it came from a place of deep love. We had already been through hell, and he wasn’t willing to risk losing me.
Deciding to Try Again
Fast forward a couple of years. I wanted another baby. I can’t explain it, but there was something in me that needed to experience pregnancy again.
I told my husband, "I want to try to have a healthy pregnancy. I want to know what it feels like to have a ‘normal’ pregnancy. I miss the feeling of carrying a life inside me."
So, we met with my OBGYN team to talk about the risks. We walked away feeling a lot more positive than expected. Apparently, the risk of HELLP recurring with the same partner is reduced by 5%. A small number, but enough to give us hope.
And in November 2020, we found out we were pregnant again! 🎉 Exciting? Yes. Terrifying? Absolutely. But we were hopeful.
Just kidding—this pregnancy was so much harder. 😩
The Hardest Pregnancy Ever
I was really, really sick. Not just morning sickness—I’m talking couldn’t eat, felt like death, needed Zofran AND B6 supplements to function kind of sick. And when we found out we were having a girl (yay and also holy crap, what do I do?), it made sense.
Because as the old wives' tale goes, girls make you sicker. And I 100% believe it.
Her due date was August 30, 2021, and I had this sweet moment of connection with the universe when I realized it was the same birthday as my dog, Jade, who had just passed away. I took it as a sign that everything would be okay.
The First Signs of Trouble
In May, my OBGYN became concerned about my daughter’s size. I was scheduled for further fetal testing—and my heart sank.
I kept thinking, Please, not another scary pregnancy. Not again.
And then, on the morning of my appointment, it happened.
I woke up to that same excruciating upper right quadrant pain.
At first, I tried to tell myself it was heartburn (denial, party of one 🙋♀️). But when we checked my blood pressure, it had jumped to 140/90.
We called the on-call OBGYN, and she was annoyed—annoyed. She told me, "It’s just heartburn. Take some antacids." Um, excuse me?
I let her know that my BP wasn’t "normal" for me (seriously, if there’s one lesson here, it’s KNOW YOUR NORMAL BLOOD PRESSURE. It can save your life!). She reluctantly asked if she should call the hospital to let them know I was coming. WTF?! YES, YOU SHOULD.
We got to the hospital around 6 AM, and my husband dropped our son off at our friends’ house. Friends who were originally planning to watch him in August—not May.
HELLP, Round Two
Once again, the hospital confirmed it—HELLP was back.
This time? I was completely awake and lucid for every horrifying moment. I was fully aware when they told me they needed to start me on that awful magnesium sulfate again.
And then came the most terrifying news of all:
“Your daughter is coming tonight.”
She was born 2.5 months early on May 24, 2021, at 5:36 PM (apparently, my kids love being born in the 5 o’clock hour).
She weighed 2 pounds, 8 ounces—about the size of a butternut squash 🎃—and was 14¾ inches long.
NICU Journey & Developmental Success
She spent 73 days in the NICU.
For the first two weeks, she was in the Level IV NICU, where she needed:
Intubation & a CPAP to help her breathe.
A feeding tube (G-tube) because she was too weak to eat.
Phototherapy for jaundice.
Caffeine supplements to keep her tiny lungs from "forgetting" to breathe.
Iron supplements for anemia.
Touch therapy to help her underdeveloped nervous system.
We were incredibly lucky. She received state-supported occupational and developmental therapy, and every therapist told us the same thing:
"You would never know she was a preemie."
Her pediatrician says the same thing. She has met and exceeded every milestone.
Now? She’s almost four, in preschool, and thriving.
Long-Term Care: Asthma, Oxygen & ROP
The only lasting impact is that she still requires supplemental oxygen at night when she’s sick (which, thanks to school germs, means the entire school year). She also uses:
A pulse oximeter to monitor her oxygen levels.
Inhaled steroids (AM/PM) + albuterol for her asthma.
Regular pulmonary checkups every 6 months for her SBPD (severe bronchopulmonary dysplasia).
ROP & Eye Health
She also had ROP (retinopathy of prematurity), a condition where the blood vessels in the retina stop growing properly and then start growing abnormally. Thankfully, her case wasn’t severe, but she still has to have annual dilated eye exams to monitor for any changes. Watching them dilate her tiny eyes in those early days? Heartbreaking.
Reflections
HELLP stole the pregnancy I wanted. It put my daughter’s life at risk. It forced us into the NICU for months.
But my daughter? She is strong. She is a fighter. And she is here.
And that’s what matters.
The diaper on the left is the size of the business card, this is the size diaper my daughter was in when she was born (sadly there are even smaller diapers). As she grew and got stronger, she upgraded from a P3 diaper to a P1 diaper and then to a new born.